• Back to School: The Fear Is Real (But So Are You)

    Well.

    It’s happening.

    Netflix is giving you that “Are you sure?” look.

    The booze has to go back in the cupboard.

    You’re brushing your teeth like a Victorian chimney sweep because no child needs to smell Baileys and regret on a Tuesday morning.

    The fairy lights are coming down (if they’re not already a permanent feature of your personality), and it’s time to roll your festive, beige-food-loving body off the sofa and back into school.

    Deep breaths.

    This is normal.

    This dread is universal.

    You Survived the Worst Term of the Year

    Let’s get one thing straight:

    Autumn term is feral.

    It’s long.

    It’s dark.

    Everyone’s ill.

    Behaviour goes sideways by mid-November.

    And December is just vibes and damage control.

    And yet…

    You survived it.

    You dragged yourself through the world’s most awful term and somehow emerged alive, mostly intact, and with only minor emotional scarring. That means — incredibly — you can do it again.

    Welcome to spring term.

    Yes, it’s still absolutely fucking freezing.

    Yes, it’s dark in the morning and dark again by 3:47pm.

    But it does get better. Slowly. Eventually. Allegedly.

    If You’re Primary: They’re Genuinely Buzzing to See You

    Primary teachers — brace yourselves.

    Your kids will come back like golden retrievers who haven’t seen you in two weeks:

    Huggy Loud Slightly feral Desperate to tell you everything they did over Christmas

    The good news?

    All those routines you drilled into them last term are still in there. Beneath the chaos. Beneath the glitter glue. They’ll remember how school works quicker than you think.

    They’re ready.

    They’re excited.

    And honestly? They’re probably just happy to see a safe adult who isn’t related to them.

    If You’re Secondary: Manage Your Expectations (But Not Your Hope)

    Secondary teachers — lower the bar. Then step over it.

    Your students will be:

    Slightly taller Slightly louder Slightly less hateful than before Christmas

    You will hear, for the 1,022nd time, that:

    “Miss/Sir, I lost my tie over Christmas.”

    And yes, today they are wearing their dad’s flashing LED Christmas novelty tie that plays Jingle Bells when you move, because reasons.

    You might not get joy.

    But you might get a nod.

    You might get a smirk.

    You might even get a smile — usually by accident.

    And honestly? That counts.

    You Are Not Behind — You Are Human

    Let me say this clearly:

    You are not behind.

    You are not failing.

    You are not “off pace.”

    You are tired.

    You are human.

    And you’ve just lived through weeks of food, family, noise, germs, and trying to remember what day it is.

    Do not come back trying to be Super-Teacher.

    Come back being present.

    Come back limping if you have to.

    Put one or two genuinely fun things into your lessons.

    Not Pinterest-perfect.

    Not revolutionary.

    Just things that remind you why you do this job.

    Rally the troops.

    Laugh when it goes wrong.

    Drink the coffee.

    Survive the week.

    Final Word

    This return is grim — but it’s not impossible.

    You’ve done harder things.

    You’ve survived worse terms.

    And you are still here.

    So shut down Netflix.

    Put the lights away.

    Brush your teeth like your reputation depends on it.

    And walk back into school knowing this:

    Teachers aren’t behind.

    They’re brilliant.

    They’re just tired.

    You’ve got this.

    Even if you have to drag yourself there — you’ve got this.

  • Turn It Off. No One Is Emailing You.

    Merry F*ing Christmas

    This is your annual festive reminder that work is not your personality, and your inbox is not a Tamagotchi that will die if you stop checking it.

    It’s Christmas. Or at least Christmas-adjacent. The point in December where everyone pretends things are winding down while secretly scheduling emails for January like absolute psychopaths.

    So let me say this, clearly and with love:

    Nothing is coming.

    No emails.

    No emergencies.

    No “quick question.”

    And if there is an email?

    It can wait.

    Because it always does.

    📬 The Inbox Delusion

    I don’t know when it started, but at some point teachers collectively developed the habit of checking emails like:

    • We’re waiting for a message from God
    • Or Ofsted
    • Or SLT announcing, “Actually, you’ve done enough, go and rest”

    Spoiler: none of those things are happening.

    I’ve checked my emails at 10pm, 6am, on Boxing Day, mid-film, mid-argument, mid-life crisis.

    Nothing. Ever. Comes.

    It’s just newsletters, a CPD invite you’ll never attend, and something marked URGENT that won’t be mentioned again until February.

    If you’re checking emails over the holidays, I say this gently but firmly:

    👉 That one’s on you.

    Turn.

    It.

    Off.

    Delete the app.

    Log out.

    Bury your phone in the garden if you have to.

    🎯 Do What Actually Matters

    This is your permission slip to do the things that are important to you.

    That might be:

    • Spending time with family
    • Sitting in silence staring at a wall
    • Eating your bodyweight in beige food
    • Watching the same Christmas film for the 14th time
    • Or yes — drinking yourself into oblivion

    I’m not judging.

    The year has been a lot.

    You do not owe anyone productivity right now.

    You do not need to “use the break wisely.”

    You do not need to plan ahead, get organised, or think about January.

    January is a problem for January You.

    And frankly, January You has a track record of coping somehow.

    🎄 A Festive Reality Check

    School will survive without you.

    The system will grind on.

    Your inbox will still be there.

    And nothing catastrophic will happen if you step away.

    What will happen, though, is this:

    • You might breathe
    • You might laugh
    • You might remember you’re a human being
    • You might come back slightly less broken than you left

    And honestly?

    That’s a win.

    🎬 Final Thoughts

    So this Christmas:

    Turn off your emails.

    Ignore the noise.

    Do the things that fill your cup — or empty a bottle.

    Rest without guilt.

    Exist without justification.

    we’ll be having some time to reflect and eat mountains of twiglets. We’ll be back in the new year to build the site and the podcast. Big plans a’coming!

    Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. 🎄🥂

  • New Podcast: What Canada Gets Right About Inclusion: My Conversation with Dr. Shelley Moore

    This week on the podcast, I had the absolute privilege of speaking with Dr. Shelley Moore — educator, researcher, consultant, inclusion specialist, and all-round force of nature in the world of SEND. I knew the conversation would be good… but I wasn’t prepared for just how eye-opening it would be.

    If you’ve ever felt frustrated, helpless, or downright confused by the way SEND provision works here in the UK, let me reassure you: you are not imagining it — and things can be done differently. Because in Canada, as Shelley explained, they’re not just tweaking the system or adding SEND as an afterthought…
    They’ve brought inclusion into the heart of mainstream education, and the results are transformative.


    “Inclusion isn’t a place. It’s a practice.”

    One of the first things Shelley said stopped me in my tracks. In the UK, we often talk about inclusion as though it’s a room — a unit, a base, a separate space where children with additional needs are “included” by being placed somewhere else.

    But Shelley’s framework flips that completely.

    Inclusion is how we teach, not where we put people.

    It’s not about fitting children into a system; it’s about designing a system flexible enough for everyone. Canadian educators aren’t perfect — no country is — but they’ve embedded a mindset that sees diversity as a strength, not a problem to be managed.


    A System That Actually Welcomes Difference

    In Canada, mainstream classrooms are built on a principle Shelley calls “teaching to the edges.” Instead of designing for the mythical “average” learner and bolting on support afterwards, teachers plan with the extremes in mind from the very start.

    When the edges are included, everyone benefits.

    As Shelley explained, inclusive practice isn’t just for pupils with SEND — it improves outcomes for:

    • multilingual learners
    • students with social, emotional, or behavioural needs
    • gifted pupils
    • students experiencing trauma
    • and yes, the so-called “typical” learner too

    The UK loves a good label.
    Canada loves a good strategy.

    And honestly? It shows.


    What the UK Can Learn (And Why We Should)

    The thing that hit me hardest in our conversation was this:
    Inclusion is not a luxury. It’s not optional.
    It’s the foundation of great teaching.

    Shelley talked passionately about how Canadian teachers are supported, trained and trusted to adapt, differentiate and design learning that works for the actual humans in front of them.

    In the UK, we’ve become masters of paperwork.
    Canada has become masters of practice.

    Imagine what our classrooms could look like if:

    • every teacher received proper training in inclusive design
    • SEND wasn’t a bolt-on but part of initial teacher education
    • support wasn’t rationed or gatekept
    • curriculum and assessment were flexible enough to meet diverse needs
    • teachers were trusted to innovate rather than tick boxes

    It’s not impossible. It’s happening somewhere else already.

    And hearing Shelley describe it so clearly made me feel two things at once:
    deeply inspired… and very aware of how far we still have to go.


    A Personal Shift in Perspective

    As a teacher, as a leader, and as a parent of a child with autism, this conversation genuinely changed the way I think about inclusion.

    I’ve spent years hearing the phrase “mainstream isn’t the right place.”
    But Shelley showed me that mainstream can be the right place — if mainstream changes.

    And that’s the heart of her message:
    The system must adapt to the child, not the other way around.

    That’s inclusion.
    That’s dignity.
    That’s good teaching.

    Make it Make SENDS #4 – Aiming for the Edges with Dr Shelley Moore. How inclusion REALLY works! Detention Diaries

    In this conversation, Dan speaks with Dr. Shelley Moore about her journey in education, focusing on the importance of inclusive practices for students with disabilities. They discuss the challenges faced by the education system, the need for a shift from special education to inclusive education, and the significance of community and collaboration in fostering an inclusive environment. Dr. Moore shares her research findings and practical strategies for teachers to create inclusive classrooms, emphasizing the importance of understanding student needs and building agency. The conversation highlights the necessity of evolving Individual Education Plans (IEPs) to better support students and the overall educational community.TakeawaysInclusion is beneficial for all students, not just those with disabilities.Education systems need to evolve to meet the needs of today's diverse learners.Community and belonging are essential for student success.Teachers should start with the needs of the most vulnerable students.IEPs should focus on growth rather than fixing perceived deficits.Positive attitudes towards inclusion can transform educational practices.Flexibility in teaching methods is crucial for accommodating diverse learners.Research should guide educational decisions, not just tradition or opinion.Student agency is vital for meaningful learning experiences.Collaboration among educators, families, and communities enhances inclusion efforts.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Context of the Conversation02:29 Dr. Shelley's Journey in Education06:54 The Shift from Special Education to Inclusive Education12:06 Understanding the Education Crisis15:59 Research and Practical Applications in Inclusive Education23:59 Five Key Principles for Effective Inclusion30:41 Barriers in Education: The Role of Standardized Testing33:12 Permissible Prejudice: Understanding Discrimination in Education34:30 Rethinking Accessibility: The Bowling Metaphor in Education39:47 Creating Inclusive Learning Environments: A Case Study42:37 Empowering Student Agency: Making Choices in Learning48:43 Navigating Standardized Testing: Strategies for Success55:01 The Evolution of IEPs: From Medical Models to Inclusive Practices59:32 Practical Tips for Inclusive Teaching: Small Steps for Big Change💬 Join the Detention Diaries communityIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow, like and subscribe wherever you listen — and share it with someone who cares about SEND and inclusion.For more stories, interviews and a healthy dose of British classroom humour, head to http://www.detentiondiaries.comand sign up for updates.Follow us on socials:📸 Instagram – @detentiondiaries▶️ YouTube – Detention Diaries🐦 X (formerly Twitter) – @DetentionDiariesSupport the showEnjoyed the episode? Then it’s time to join the class. 👉 Head to http://www.detentiondiaries.com to read the blog, sign up for the newsletter, and join our online staffroom community. Because education doesn’t end at the classroom door — and neither does the conversation.
    1. Make it Make SENDS #4 – Aiming for the Edges with Dr Shelley Moore. How inclusion REALLY works!
    2. Make it Make SENDs #3 – Talking About Talking: Jane Harris on Fixing the Speech and Language Crisis
    3. Make it Make SENDs #2 – Follow the Empathy Road: Educating for Inclusion with Ginny Bootman
    4. Make it Make SENDs #1 – The Autistic Advocate. It’s Not a SEND Crisis — It’s an Education Crisis
    5. Detention Diaries #3: From Classroom Chaos to Campus Calm: Training the Teachers of Tomorrow

    Why This Conversation Matters

    If you work in education, care for a young person with SEND, or simply want to understand how schools should work, please listen to the full episode. Shelley’s insight isn’t just practical — it’s hopeful. And hope is something we all need right now.

    You can listen to the episode and join the conversation at:
    👉 www.detentiondiaries.com

    And while you’re there:

    • read the blog
    • join the community
    • subscribe to the newsletter
    • and share your own experiences of inclusion — the good, the bad, and the “Why is this form 14 pages long?”

    We’re building this movement together.


    Final Thought

    Dr. Shelley Moore reminded me that inclusion isn’t a destination.
    It’s a habit. A belief. A choice we make every day in our classrooms, our schools, and our policies.

    Canada is proving it’s possible.
    Now it’s our turn.


    Join the Conversation

    If this episode resonated with you — or challenged you — I’d love for you to be part of the community we’re building.

    👉 Join the community at: www.detentiondiaries.com
    Find blogs, podcast episodes, resources, and a space for honest conversation about modern education.

    👉 Follow Detention Diaries on social media:

    • Instagram: @detentiondiaries
    • X (Twitter): @detentiondiary
    • YouTube: Detention Diaries

    Your voice matters. Your story matters.
    Let’s rethink education — together.

  • 🎄 “Proper Training? In This Economy?” – A Festive Rant from the Staffroom

    It’s the 1st of December tomorrow, which means two things:
    1️⃣ Teachers everywhere are about to start pretending they love Christmas jumper day, and
    2️⃣ SLT are about to roll out the annual “festive CPD” — which is the same as normal CPD, but with a mince pie and a slightly more patronising PowerPoint theme.

    And speaking of CPD, let’s cast our minds back to my previous post about endless, pointless, soul-sapping CPD sessions that we are all forced to sit through — all those thrilling afternoons learning how to colour-code your seating plan for maximum impact. Riveting. Truly paradigm-shifting.
    (If you missed it, consider yourself lucky — but also, go read it so we can suffer together.)

    Link here: https://detentiondiaries.com/2025/10/25/155/


    🎓 The Problem: We Don’t Need More Training — We Need Proper Training

    What teachers actually need is training that’s:

    • Useful
    • Practical
    • Not written by someone who hasn’t been in a classroom since Tony Blair was promising Education, Education, Education
    • And rooted in the real world, where teenagers actually exist

    Imagine — just imagine — if we had actual, high-quality training instead of the usual “Iceberg Model of Behaviour” laminated nonsense.

    Here’s a wild thought…

    🤖 What if we had proper training on AI?

    Not the current version, where someone from SLT says:

    “AI is the future… anyway, here’s a worksheet I printed upside down.”

    I mean actual AI training, where teachers learn how to:

    • Automated planning
    • Generate differentiated resources
    • Cut marking time in half
    • Reduce admin
    • Make data tracking less painful than stepping on a plug socket

    Teachers could get HOURS of their lives back.
    We could plan efficiently.
    We might even — and this is dangerous optimism — go home when it’s still light.

    But no. Instead, we get a CPD session on “How to Improve Displays in the Corridor.”


    🧠 SEND Training: Or, How to Summon a Real Expert

    Here’s another revolutionary idea:

    What if our SEND training was delivered by…

    … wait for it…
    an actual SEND expert?

    Not someone drafted in because they once went on a course about autism in 2008.
    Not someone who says “sensory needs” with the vocal fry of someone who’s guessing.

    I’m talking about people who genuinely understand:

    • EP (Educational Psychology)
    • Trauma-informed approaches
    • Occupational therapy
    • PDA profiles
    • The difference between behaviour of a child and behaviour from a child

    If we had proper SEND training, we could:

    • Support students better
    • Prevent crises instead of reacting to them
    • Build inclusive classrooms that actually include children
    • And not have “Is this a behaviour issue or a sensory meltdown?” whispered like we’re solving a murder mystery

    But instead, we’re given a printout called Top Ten Tips for ADHD!
    Tip #1 usually being:
    “Use a visual timetable.”
    Yes, Karen. Groundbreaking.


    💀 The Dickens of It All

    The whole system feels a bit… Victorian.
    Which is fitting, since it’s basically run like a Dickens novel.

    Tiny Tim has a better chance of getting an EHCP than half the kids in our borough.

    If Charles Dickens were alive today, he wouldn’t need to write a Christmas Carol — he’d just visit any UK secondary school in December and watch Year 11 queue outside isolation.

    And honestly, with the way education policy is going, it wouldn’t surprise me if Rishi Sunak popped out dressed as Scrooge, whispering:

    “Are there no academies? Are there no trusts?”

    We are standing at a precipice — a moment where education could transform for the better:

    • AI revolution
    • SEND reform (if done by someone with a braincell)
    • Reduced workload
    • Inclusion grounded in actual research
    • Real opportunities to change lives

    But instead, we’re stuck in a draconian system that still marks us on book presentation like it’s 1871.

    Until the Ghost of Education Future shows up with a proper action plan, I guess we’ll keep doing what we always do:

    Survive.
    Caffeinate.
    Pretend we’re “driving attendance” when we’re actually just driving ourselves to the brink.

    Happy 1st of December.
    May your advent calendars contain wine.

  • The SALT That Isn’t Salty: A Modern SEND Tragedy

    This week I had the absolute pleasure (read: emotional exhaustion wrapped in admin) of attending my daughter’s EHCP meeting.
    As any parent of a SEND child knows, these meetings are more stressful than OFSTED, job interviews, or trying to teach Year 9 last period on a windy Friday.

    Enter the SALT team — “Speech and Language Therapy.”
    Except, in our area, there’s very little therapy and quite a lot of “we’ve decided to discharge her because we don’t know what else to do.”

    You know… exactly what you want to hear about your autistic child.


    The Great Disappearing Act

    The SALT team — whose job title literally contains the word therapist — have offered, and I quote, zero therapy.
    Not reduced therapy, not interim therapy, but zero.
    The same amount of therapy you get from a traffic cone.

    Their grand conclusion?

    “She presents as PDA, so there’s nothing we can do. She has met her targets. We want to reduce provision.”

    Reduce. Provision.

    For a child who isn’t meeting her targets — she’s simply not letting them in the door.

    Imagine a fire alarm inspector coming to your house, not being allowed inside because the dog barks at him, and declaring:

    “Well, everything seems fine. No fires here. I’m signing you off.”

    That’s the level of logic we’re working with.


    If She Was Meeting Targets… Isn’t That the Point?

    Let’s pretend for a moment that she was meeting every target.
    Gold stars everywhere.
    Progress chart looking like an impressive stock market climb.

    Wouldn’t that be because — oh, I don’t know — the provision was working?

    If a child is thriving because of support, the correct response is not:

    “Fantastic! Let’s remove it.”

    That’s like taking antibiotics for a chest infection, feeling better, and the GP saying:

    “You seem fine now. We’ll stop medication immediately and permanently. Try not to breathe too deeply.”


    SEND Reform: The Great Disappearing Provision Scheme

    With all this talk about SEND reform and “reviewing EHCP thresholds,” it doesn’t take a genius to see what’s happening.
    We’re slowly, quietly drifting towards:

    Cutting funding by cutting support.

    And who’s first on the chopping block?
    The most vulnerable cohort in the country — disabled children and young people.

    Cost-saving by targeting those with the least ability to fight back.
    It’s brutal. It’s predictable.
    And it’s depressingly in line with the direction this country is going.


    The Loudest Parents Win — And That’s Not Equality

    Here’s the ugly truth:
    The parents who shout the loudest get the EHCPs.
    That’s not a system — that’s a competition.

    Getting an EHCP is like running a marathon made out of paperwork, acronyms, and thinly veiled hostility.
    Maintaining an EHCP?
    That’s the Ultra Marathon.
    Barefoot. In the rain.
    With Ofsted running behind you shouting about “impact.”

    But there aren’t enough of us.
    We’re a loud bunch — but not a big one.

    And many parents of SEND children don’t even know help exists, let alone how to navigate the labyrinth of referrals, panels, tribunals, and reports.

    That’s the terrifying bit:
    So many children are unsupported because their parents don’t know where to start, or they’re overwhelmed, or they’ve been fobbed off so many times they’ve given up.


    A Society Splitting Down the Middle

    The gap between the “haves” and the “have-nots” is widening — and fast.
    And SEND families are watching that chasm grow from the wrong side.

    It’s starting to feel like a class-driven, quietly autocratic system where:

    • Those with knowledge and stamina fight
    • Those without fall through the cracks
    • And those who should be supporting them claim they’re meeting targets they’ve never meaningfully assessed

    We’re not building a society.
    We’re building a hierarchy.
    One where the quietest, smallest, and most vulnerable voices are being drowned out by budgets, bureaucracy, and the desperate need to “save money.”


    Final Thought

    So when the SALT team cheerfully suggests my daughter should be discharged — not because she is thriving, but because they don’t know how to reach her — it’s hard not to feel like the whole SEND system is being gently and quietly dismantled.

    And the people who are supposed to help us are walking out with clipboards saying,
    “We’ve done all we can.”

    When they haven’t even begun.

  • Attendance: The Great Vanishing Act

    Every Monday morning in briefing, it happens.
    Our deputy stands at the front, coffee in hand, PowerPoint glowing, and says the same thing:

    “Attendance is a whole-school target. We need to drive attendance. We all need to push attendance to bring up the numbers.”

    Cue the staffroom nodding. The silent agreement that yes, attendance is indeed a problem. And also, yes, we have absolutely no idea what we’re supposed to do about it.


    Where Did Everyone Go?

    Attendance in schools has fallen off a cliff since the pandemic.
    Before COVID, the odd sick day or family trip was just that — an exception.
    Now, it feels like half the country is off on “a well-being day.”

    The truth is, the entire attitude towards school has changed.
    Parents are increasingly prioritising their child’s mental health — or, more often, their child’s opinion — over attendance.

    “Yeah, he didn’t feel like coming in today.”
    “She was a bit tired, so we had a duvet day.”
    “He wanted to stay home with the dog.”

    And while it’s easy to roll our eyes, part of this is cultural.
    Since the rise of remote work, children have watched their parents spend entire days in pyjamas, occasionally wandering to the fridge between Teams calls.
    So why wouldn’t they think school could work the same way?

    To them, staying home is no longer rebellion — it’s role modelling.


    The National Crisis Nobody Knows How to Fix

    Let’s call it what it is: a national crisis.
    Children are missing more school than ever before, and no one really has an answer.

    The government’s “plan” seems to be:

    “The plan is… we need a new plan.”

    It’s an ouroboros of policy — a snake eating its own tail while muttering “we need a multi-agency response.”

    And schools? We’re left to fix it.
    We’re now expected to get kids out of bed, into uniform, and through the front gates — which is quite the task when neither they nor their parents see the point.

    Without literally driving to their house, dragging them out of bed, and buckling them into the back seat like a hostage in a hi-vis jacket (which, to be clear, is frowned upon in the safeguarding policy), there isn’t much we can do.


    “But What Are You Doing About Attendance?”

    That’s the question, isn’t it?
    It’s the one every school leader dreads during an inspection.

    “So, what are you doing about attendance?”

    What are we doing about attendance?
    Well, we’ve got a spreadsheet.
    A very shiny spreadsheet.

    It’s got colour coding, conditional formatting, and a graph that goes in the wrong direction.
    We show it to the kids every week, like it’s a motivational tool.

    “Tommy, your attendance is at 78%. That’s not great.”

    Meanwhile, Tommy’s thinking:
    “My Fortnite level’s gone up three tiers since last week. That’s progression.”

    For him, attendance is just another game score — one he has absolutely no interest in improving.
    And if you think that conversation motivates him, you’re sorely mistaken.


    The Impossible Plan

    There’s no plan.
    Not a real one, anyway.

    Because this problem sits outside the walls of the classroom.
    It’s social. It’s cultural. It’s generational.
    And yet somehow, it’s still being measured in performance management targets.

    We can’t fix attendance by guilt-tripping teachers into pep talks.
    We can’t “drive attendance” by shouting “drive attendance.”
    And we definitely can’t solve a societal issue with an Excel file and a half-eaten box of Celebrations in the attendance office.

    The truth is simple: teachers can inspire, support, and encourage — but we can’t teleport students out of bed.

    Until the system recognises that attendance is a national issue, not a school issue, we’re going to keep being blamed for something we can’t control.


    Final Thoughts

    So maybe, instead of punishing schools for the country’s new “optional attendance culture,” we try something different.
    Support parents. Fund proper interventions. Create environments where school feels relevant again.

    Because right now, we’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic — except the Titanic is half-empty, the orchestra’s on strike, and Ofsted’s asking for your evidence log.

    And until something changes, I’ll keep smiling politely in Monday briefing, nodding at the words “whole school target,” and quietly wondering whether next week I should just bring a tow rope and a megaphone.

    Just to, you know, drive attendance.

  • New Podcast: 🗣️ Talking About Talking: Why Speech & Language Needs More Than Lip Service

    If you spend any amount of time in a school, you’ll hear phrases like “We’re a reading school,” “Reading is at the heart of everything we do,” and “Don’t forget to Drop Everything And Read.”

    Lovely stuff.
    Very wholesome.
    Children surrounded by books like tiny, chaotic librarians.

    But here’s something we don’t talk about nearly enough:
    How on earth are children supposed to read, infer, decode, comprehend, or even guess what a fronted adverbial is… when they’re struggling to communicate in the first place?

    Speech and language needs are one of the biggest, fastest-growing challenges in education — but you’d barely know it from how schools are resourced.
    Reading gets posters, assemblies, badges, giant cardboard book characters, and possibly a parade.
    Speech and language gets… well… usually a single overbooked specialist and a box of slightly frayed picture cards from 2007.


    👧 A Personal Note: When Talking Doesn’t Come Easy

    My own daughter was a late talker.

    Not just “fashionably late.”
    Not even “oh she’ll get there in her own time, love.”

    No — properly late. The kind of late where you start Googling until your phone gently asks if you’re alright.

    And in our case, her delayed speech was one of the first signs that something was different.
    It eventually led to her autism diagnosis — and a whole new understanding of how much communication shapes a child’s world:

    • how they learn
    • how they play
    • how they make sense of other humans (an impossible task at the best of times)
    • and how they see themselves

    So when I had the chance to speak with Jane Harris, CEO of Speech and Language UK, for my Make it Make SENDs podcast… I grabbed it.


    🎙️ The Conversation We Need to Have

    Jane is at the forefront of the national conversation about speech and language needs — and also at the forefront of reminding us that we’re not actually having the conversation loudly enough.

    In the episode, we talk about:

    • why so many children are struggling with communication
    • why early identification is life-changing
    • how schools can support pupils even without a dedicated specialist
    • what’s wrong (and what’s hopeful) about current SEND reforms
    • why listening properly might be the most powerful intervention of all

    She brings research, humanity, humour and — crucially — solutions.
    Not just more paperwork (we’ve got more than enough of that, thank you).

    ▶️ Listen to the Episode

    Make it Make SENDS #4 – Aiming for the Edges with Dr Shelley Moore. How inclusion REALLY works! Detention Diaries

    In this conversation, Dan speaks with Dr. Shelley Moore about her journey in education, focusing on the importance of inclusive practices for students with disabilities. They discuss the challenges faced by the education system, the need for a shift from special education to inclusive education, and the significance of community and collaboration in fostering an inclusive environment. Dr. Moore shares her research findings and practical strategies for teachers to create inclusive classrooms, emphasizing the importance of understanding student needs and building agency. The conversation highlights the necessity of evolving Individual Education Plans (IEPs) to better support students and the overall educational community.TakeawaysInclusion is beneficial for all students, not just those with disabilities.Education systems need to evolve to meet the needs of today's diverse learners.Community and belonging are essential for student success.Teachers should start with the needs of the most vulnerable students.IEPs should focus on growth rather than fixing perceived deficits.Positive attitudes towards inclusion can transform educational practices.Flexibility in teaching methods is crucial for accommodating diverse learners.Research should guide educational decisions, not just tradition or opinion.Student agency is vital for meaningful learning experiences.Collaboration among educators, families, and communities enhances inclusion efforts.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Context of the Conversation02:29 Dr. Shelley's Journey in Education06:54 The Shift from Special Education to Inclusive Education12:06 Understanding the Education Crisis15:59 Research and Practical Applications in Inclusive Education23:59 Five Key Principles for Effective Inclusion30:41 Barriers in Education: The Role of Standardized Testing33:12 Permissible Prejudice: Understanding Discrimination in Education34:30 Rethinking Accessibility: The Bowling Metaphor in Education39:47 Creating Inclusive Learning Environments: A Case Study42:37 Empowering Student Agency: Making Choices in Learning48:43 Navigating Standardized Testing: Strategies for Success55:01 The Evolution of IEPs: From Medical Models to Inclusive Practices59:32 Practical Tips for Inclusive Teaching: Small Steps for Big Change💬 Join the Detention Diaries communityIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow, like and subscribe wherever you listen — and share it with someone who cares about SEND and inclusion.For more stories, interviews and a healthy dose of British classroom humour, head to http://www.detentiondiaries.comand sign up for updates.Follow us on socials:📸 Instagram – @detentiondiaries▶️ YouTube – Detention Diaries🐦 X (formerly Twitter) – @DetentionDiariesSupport the showEnjoyed the episode? Then it’s time to join the class. 👉 Head to http://www.detentiondiaries.com to read the blog, sign up for the newsletter, and join our online staffroom community. Because education doesn’t end at the classroom door — and neither does the conversation.
    1. Make it Make SENDS #4 – Aiming for the Edges with Dr Shelley Moore. How inclusion REALLY works!
    2. Make it Make SENDs #3 – Talking About Talking: Jane Harris on Fixing the Speech and Language Crisis
    3. Make it Make SENDs #2 – Follow the Empathy Road: Educating for Inclusion with Ginny Bootman
    4. Make it Make SENDs #1 – The Autistic Advocate. It’s Not a SEND Crisis — It’s an Education Crisis
    5. Detention Diaries #3: From Classroom Chaos to Campus Calm: Training the Teachers of Tomorrow

    😂 And Now For Something Mildly Ridiculous

    Because this is Detention Diaries, I’ll leave you with something very British and very true:

    If schools treated speech and language support the way they treat reading, we’d have:

    • a “Talkathon Week”
    • assemblies where teachers dramatically pronounce syllables
    • posters saying “Talking Takes You Places!”
    • and a dedicated display board titled “Our Oracy Champions” featuring a photo of that one kid who never stops chatting and has far too much confidence for a Monday morning.

    Honestly, I’m not saying it would fix everything.
    But I’m also not not saying that.


    Thanks for reading — and a massive thank-you to Jane Harris for joining me on the podcast and for the vital work she continues to do for children, families and schools.

    If you haven’t already, come join the community at www.detentiondiaries.com, and follow the chaos on Instagram, X, and YouTube.

    Because sometimes, the most important conversations start long before the reading book even

  • The Great Staffroom Study – Staff Morale vs Biscuit Consumption

    Department of Educational Survival Studies
    By: A Tired Teacher, PhD (Partially Half-Dead)


    Abstract

    This week, our long-term observational study into teacher behaviour during the Christmas term has yielded critical new data.

    Findings indicate a direct correlation between (a) how far we are into the term, and (b) the speed, size, and frequency of family multipack biscuit appearances in the staffroom — along with an alarming increase in mince pie consumption per capita.

    In layman’s terms: the closer we get to the end of term, the more we’re all eating like Victorian orphans at a bake sale.


    Introduction

    The Christmas term (or “the long one,” as it’s affectionately known by those who’ve lost the will to live) is a fascinating period in teacher evolution.
    It’s marked by extreme fatigue, emotional instability, and the inability to remember which mock paper you’ve already marked.

    Staff behaviour begins to shift around mid-November. Early warning signs include:

    • Subtle murmurs of “Just need to make it to Christmas.”
    • Coffee intake reaching medically concerning levels.
    • The first sighting of a Mr Kipling variety pack in the staffroom.

    By December, this progresses to full-blown carbohydrate carnage.


    Methodology

    Over a three-week observational period, a group of researchers (also known as “teachers with no frees”) tracked the appearance and disappearance of family-sized biscuit packs and mince pies across five staffrooms in the North West.

    Data was collected using a simple metric known as the Snack-to-Sanity Ratio (SSR) — calculated by dividing the number of biscuits consumed by the number of remaining weeks until Christmas.

    To maintain accuracy, all observations were conducted covertly, usually while pretending to laminate something.


    Findings

    1. Week 1 (Early November)
      • The first “just in case” packet of chocolate digestives appears.
      • Staff exercise restraint. Someone says, “Let’s save these for Friday.”
      • Half are gone by lunch.
    2. Week 4 (Mid-November)
      • Custard creams, bourbons, and the occasional KitKat multipack now in circulation.
      • Energy levels dropping.
      • “Friday Treats” have become “Tuesday Sanity Snacks.”
      • Nobody knows who bought them. Nobody cares.
    3. Week 6 (Late November)
      • The first mince pies arrive. A hush falls across the staffroom.
      • Teachers cluster around them like pigeons at Greggs.
      • One is eaten cold, another microwaved, and a brief argument breaks out about which is correct.
      • The mince pies are gone within nine minutes.
    4. Week 7 (December)
      • Multiple tins of Roses and Quality Street appear overnight.
      • They vanish before break time.
      • Someone is seen scraping the last purple wrapper from the bottom of the tin.
      • It’s 10:43 a.m.

    Correlation Between Sadness and Mince Pies

    Data strongly supports the hypothesis that the sadder the teacher, the more mince pies they consume.

    One participant (pseudonym: “Year 11 Form Tutor”) consumed six pies in a single day after accidentally attending three separate Christmas concert rehearsals.

    Another participant (pseudonym: “Head of Department Who’s Lost Their Room to Exams Again”) was observed quietly eating a mince pie in the corridor while muttering “quality first teaching.”

    Peak consumption occurred immediately after mock exam data entry.


    Discussion

    The research suggests a clear behavioural pattern:
    As teacher morale drops, sugar intake rises exponentially.

    It’s not hunger — it’s survival instinct.
    It’s not gluttony — it’s professional development.

    The mince pie, once a symbol of festive cheer, has become a coping mechanism — a small, foil-wrapped antidepressant filled with raisins and regret.

    It’s now widely accepted among teaching professionals that eating four mince pies between P4 and P5 is “self-care.”


    Conclusion

    The study concludes that there is an unbreakable link between the proximity to Christmas and the velocity of biscuit disappearance.

    By the final week of term, time itself begins to warp. A family pack of chocolate Hobnobs left at 8:30 a.m. is but crumbs by 8:37.
    Mince pies don’t even hit the table — they’re gone before the foil cools.

    At this stage, the average teacher is 72% caffeine, 18% pastry, and 10% unresolved trauma from the carol concert.

    The final recommendation from this research?
    Don’t fight it.
    Stock up, sit down, and remember: if you’re halfway through a box of Mr Kipling’s and questioning your life choices, you’re not alone.
    You’re just in Week 7.

    Leave a comment

  • The Great Curriculum Cake: How Much More Can We Eat?

    So, the new curriculum reform guidance has finally been published this week — and, to be fair, there’s a lot to like.
    There’s talk of citizenship education, AI literacy, even understanding mortgages (which, frankly, would’ve been handy before I recently signed up for one).

    Finally, it feels like someone in the Department for Education has realised that maybe — just maybe — children need to understand the world they’re actually living in, not just what a fronted adverbial is.

    But as always, there’s a catch.

    Because while we’re talking about adding more wonderful things to the curriculum, there’s been absolutely no talk about taking anything out.

    And the curriculum is already so full it’s practically bursting at the seams.


    Bruce Bogtrotter and the National Curriculum

    If you’ve ever watched Matilda, you’ll remember Bruce Bogtrotter — the poor lad forced by Miss Trunchbull to eat an entire chocolate cake the size of a car tyre in front of the whole school.

    That, in a nutshell, is our curriculum.

    Students are handed an ever-growing mountain of content, told to eat every last bite, and then made to sit around 30 exams in three or four weeks.
    They struggle. They stress. They soldier on.
    And somehow — with a bit of teamwork and a lot of resilience — they pull through.

    And then, just when they think it’s over… Miss Trunchbull smashes the plate over their head.

    Pretty similar to real life after school, isn’t it?
    (Though perhaps best not to mention that bit during Year 11 assembly.)


    Adding Without Subtracting

    Don’t get me wrong — curriculum reform is absolutely needed.
    It’s overdue, in fact.
    But there’s a limit to how much you can add before the whole thing collapses under its own weight.

    We can’t just keep cramming in AI, citizenship, personal finance, and mental health awareness without removing something else.
    That’s like being served your fifth helping of cake while the waiter insists it’s for your own good.

    Schools are already overstretched, underfunded, and losing staff faster than we can recruit them.
    So where, exactly, is the time going to come from to “embed” all these new areas?
    Are we supposed to do it between the Year 10 mocks and the cover lesson for someone off with flu?

    The guidance reads like a wish list written by people who’ve forgotten that teachers aren’t wizards.
    We can’t conjure extra hours in the day or extra funding out of thin air — though, if that was on the curriculum, I’d teach it in a heartbeat.


    Farewell to the EBacc (And Not a Tear Shed)

    Now, on to some good news: it looks like the EBacc — that long-standing thorn in the side of creative education — is finally on its way out.

    Let’s be honest, the EBacc has done more damage to creative arts education than any single policy in recent memory.
    It squeezed out music, art, drama, and design to make room for an academic core that left little space for creativity, expression, or the sort of learning that actually makes school joyful.

    So yes — I’m delighted to see signs of change.
    Because maybe now we can stop pretending that creativity is optional, or something to be squeezed in during tutor time.
    Maybe now we can rebuild the arts properly — with funding, recognition, and most importantly, time.

    Because every time the government decides to “update the framework,” we’re expected to reinvent our entire curriculum like we’re working on a reboot of The Great British Bake Off.
    Except there’s no tent, no applause, and definitely no budget for new ingredients.


    A Final Slice of Realism

    So yes, the reforms have promise — citizenship, AI, real-world knowledge — all great ideas in theory.
    But here’s the thing: before we start adding new flavours, we need to make room on the plate.

    Because right now, teachers and students alike are Bruce Bogtrotter — sitting at the table, staring at the cake, wondering how on earth we’re supposed to finish it all.
    And if the DfE keeps piling more on top without taking anything off, we’ll all end up sick, sticky, and muttering something about how “at least the sponge was moist.”

    The curriculum doesn’t need more.
    It needs less — better, deeper, simpler, more human.
    Otherwise, the only people learning anything will be the ones discovering just how far you can push a teacher before they snap and start marking in interpretive dance.

    Leave a comment

  • 🎨 SENDCOs: The Artists Forced to Sign Their Own Masterpieces

    🧑‍🎨 The Unsung Artists of Education

    There’s a certain type of hero in every school.
    Not the caped kind. Not even the “I’ve got a stapler that actually works” kind.

    I’m talking about the SENDCO.

    You know — the person who somehow juggles inclusion plans, legal paperwork, staff training, broken printers, and seventeen half-written emails that all begin, “Apologies for the delay in response…”

    SENDCOs are the creative geniuses of education.
    Except, instead of being allowed to paint or perform, they spend most of their time signing forms that prove they once considered painting or performing.

    Honestly, it’s like asking Banksy to fill out a risk assessment for the wall.
    Or expecting Ed Sheeran to spend all day signing merch instead of writing songs.

    That’s the reality for so many SENDCOs right now — mountains of paperwork, minimal time with the children they’re championing, and yet they still show up with humour, heart, and a questionable relationship with caffeine.


    🎧 Enter Ginny Bootman

    This week on the Make it Make SENDs podcast, I sat down with Ginny Bootman — SENDCO, former headteacher, author, and full-time advocate for empathy and relationships in education.

    Ginny doesn’t just talk about inclusion — she lives it. She’s got this incredible knack for cutting through the admin fog and reminding us what SEND is really about: people.

    In our conversation, we talked about:

    • The art of empathy in leadership
    • Time management (and the myth of “free periods”)
    • Staying human in a job that often feels superhuman

    …and of course, we laughed. A lot.


    ▶️ Listen to the Episode

    🎙️ Episode: Follow the Empathy Road – Educating for Inclusion with Ginny Bootman
    Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

    🖋️ To Every SENDCO Out There…

    Next time you’re elbow-deep in an EHCP and wondering if this is what you signed up for, remember:
    you are the artist.
    It’s just that your canvas happens to be a very large pile of paperwork.

    Keep fighting the good fight — one referral form, one phone call, one perfectly laminated visual timetable at a time.


    🙌 Thank You, Ginny

    Check out Ginny’s work:


    💬 Join the Conversation

    🌐 Join the Detention Diaries community:

    If you like what you hear, please follow, like and share the podcast so more teachers, parents and SEND champions can find us.

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